pavlovs-schrodinger:

pavlovs-schrodinger:

when im older and my kid needs me to sign something for school im just gonna write “Dad” in really crappy handwriting so it seems like my kid forged my signature and the teacher calls to tell me and im just “yes no it is i dad”

i posted this when i accidentally took too much medication

screw you guys


“Losers are people who are so afraid of not winning, they don’t even try.”

(Source: miafarrows)

(Source: jamjars)

internetswaggie:

pizza:

josh hutcherson’s parents are probably called josh hutcherdad and josh hutchermom

josh hutcherson fell over he is now josh hurtcherson

(Source: )

supernatural-addicted:

lapfulofmisha:

someblokecalledrichbrook:

so far Tumblr is obsessed with: 

  • A genocidal, time-travelling alien
  • A sociopathic detective 
  • An insane, mass-murdering god of mischief
  • A manipulative cannibal 
  • Two monster-hunting serial killers

welcome to tumblr  

Don’t forget the gay angel

This is so accurate I want to cry

elasticitymudflap:

ericaisawesome56:

farfromgotham:

Fun fact time: many of my old acquaintances still make joking comments whenever they see me wearing pink, because as a child (and honestly pretty much right up to high school) I would refuse to associate with any pink objects. 

It wasn’t because I didn’t like pink, it was because since I appeared female I was supposed to/ it was immediately assumed that I did and therefore it pissed me the ever-loving fuck off. I was ashamed to like it, which is terrible because pink is an awesome color. But when you shove it down young girls throats it gets really old, really fast. 

Give the child the fucking rainbow, and if they pick pink, it’s not because they are female and/or effeminate, it’s because they like the color pink. 

THIS.

Gosh this

(Source: feminishblog)

mercuriesrising:

aparticularlygoodfinder:

Go to Starbucks. Order coffee for “Prisoner 24601”

When they call out your order, jump up and yell “My name is Jean Valjean!”

And if the barista replies with “AND I’M JAVERT,” you tip that motherfucker so hard

you tip them right over the edge of a bridge

(Source: villainyandgoodcheekbones)

marielikestodraw:

pahnem:

mercuriesrising:

aparticularlygoodfinder:

Go to Starbucks. Order coffee for “Prisoner 24601”

When they call out your order, jump up and yell “My name is Jean Valjean!”

And if the barista replies with “AND I’M JAVERT,” you tip that motherfucker so hard

you tip them right over the edge of a bridge

you fucking didn’t

oh my god.

(Source: villainyandgoodcheekbones)

So basically Lemony Snicket predicted tumblr.

(Source: a-sip-0f-keseys-k00l-aid-42)